I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
