so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
