At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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