glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
