i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
