Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
