oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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