Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
smell my finger.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
