Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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