somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
