update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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