"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
