My friends, they love my intelligence
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
