the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
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