New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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