I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
