So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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