he puts the penis in happiness.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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