and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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