We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
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I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
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That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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