Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
