Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
