Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
