Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
