what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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