I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
