Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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