Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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