I cockslap morals
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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