Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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