I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
