I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
