I want leopard sheets
thats the plan
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.