just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I am naked and annoyed.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
