I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
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Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
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And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.