in pain and im wearing pink underwear
i dont own pink underwear
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.