$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just want to make out with him forever
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.