so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
