Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
