You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
23 Cringeworthy Responses to “I Love You”
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?