haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
