you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
