We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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