In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
