Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet