im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
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