So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
