Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize