I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
