i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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