saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
