I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
