ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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