12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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