I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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