Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
