I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize