WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
