She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
