none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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