The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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