Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize