Plan B is the new Plan A
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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