the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize