There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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