Screwed.edu
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
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