Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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