The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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