My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
