my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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