she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
