sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
