I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize