This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
