Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
it's like heaven, but drunker
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
