Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
