Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize